


only for a season

by kay_okay



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dirty Talk, Fluff, Hidden Relationship, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Road Trips, Sexting, TATINOF, Tour Bus, but mostly this is about, just a tiny bit at the end, on tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 12:42:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6520192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kay_okay/pseuds/kay_okay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan takes a breath in through his nose and out through his mouth, cell phone clutched in his hand. They’ve only done this a handful of times, but when they’ve been thousands of miles apart, not a few feet, not when they’re actively trying to hide their relationship from an entire tour of people for two months. He shifts in bed, awake now but dream lingering behind, like if he concentrates hard enough he can still feel Phil’s hands on him. </p><p>He’s started it now, so at this point there’s really no turning back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	only for a season

**Author's Note:**

> it's been a long tour, and the lack of closeness is starting to grate on them.
> 
>  
> 
> title lifted from "repetition" by purity ring.
> 
> this is a work of fiction. this is a fictional story about fictional representations of real people. none of the events are true. no profit was made from this work. unbetaed, all mistakes are my own.

It’d taken him a while to fall asleep, but Dan’s fully in dream land now, he’s sure of it. Because he and Phil are crammed onto Phil’s bed in his parents' house, already too tiny for their giant frames, half-undressed and sweaty and rutting together. It feels so real, fucking amazing actually, finally getting to be against that skin, see the sheen of perspiration at Phil’s hairline and to know _I did that, we did this together_ is new and thrilling and such a turn on, Dan can’t take it. Flat on his back, Dan's hands scrabble for purchase against Phil's bare shoulders. He kisses Phil without abandon, ready and willing and way more open than he thought he’d be for someone he just met in person but feels like he’s known his whole life. Phil slides a hand up Dan’s side and grips at his flank, presses his thumb into the dips in his ribcage and Dan moans out against Phil’s mouth, high-pitched and eyes squeezed shut when his head drops back against the pillow. 

Phil takes the angle change and runs with it, dragging his open mouth against Dan’s neck, tongue hot against the salty sweat collecting at the divot below Dan’s throat, teeth nipping gently as they travel slowly south along Dan’s sternum. A wave of shivers runs over Dan’s torso and he grips his fingers tightly to Phil’s shoulders, praying to whatever deity is listening that Dan in the real world, asleep back on the tour bus, doesn’t wake up for a long time.

He looks down as younger Phil tosses his longer hair out of his eyes and starts to move down Dan's body, soft presses of his mouth against Dan’s stomach, spreading Dan’s legs apart and descending between them. But when Phil looks back up at Dan and opens his mouth, the singsong tones of Mario getting a 1-up mushroom comes out.

“Phil, what the fuck --” 

Phil smiles devilishly, tongue poking out between his teeth and the sound plays again. Dan rubs his eyes and the next thing he knows, he’s turning over onto his stomach back in his bunk on the bus, mouth full of pillow, the blaring sound of his text message tone right next to his ear.

“God damn it,” he says into the cotton. It’s been a long stretch of time in the middle of the tour, no hotel nights for at least two weeks, and Dan’s finding it harder and harder to sleep every night trying to cram his extra-long figure into a seemingly extra-short cubbyhole in the wall. Nevermind the constant creaking of the bus as it goes over gravel and dirt roads at 2AM that shake him awake when he’s just fallen asleep, or the rampant culture shock he’s been facing that he was not at all prepared for. It’s not like he’s never been here before but he understands now he wasn’t truly ready for what it would mean to be away from home and friends and family and familiarity for so long. 

Another trill from his phone pulls Dan from his mental temper tantrum. He swipes it open and looks blearily at the incredibly bright screen.

_You up?  
What are you doing?_

Dan’s eyes adjust and Phil’s name comes into focus above his text. _was sleeping. was having a dream and woke up,_ he manages to pound out with sleep-numb thumbs. Dan leaves out the details, the vivid parts still circling his mind. 

_I’m sorry if I woke you!_

_no, don’t worry about it. u all right?_

Dan stares at the three dots for what feels like an eternity. Phil’s typing, Phil’s typing, his phone tells him. But nothing comes up on the screen and Dan starts to get anxious. 

Just before he’s about to climb out of bed and peel back his bunk curtain to check on him, the now-silent phone vibrates again.

_Yeah, just can’t sleep. What was your dream about?_

Dan’s heart rate instantly quickens. He has a couple of choices, he guesses. Lying is the first option. Just out and out lie, it was nothing, inconsequential, he barely remembers it now. He doesn’t need to get all worked up when Phil’s so close he can almost hear his breathing if he strains, so close but so far away because he can’t touch him or even talk to him out loud without someone hearing. 

Then there’s the truth. It might be interesting to see how it’d play out.

Dan stares at the text, no dots this time. Phil’s just waiting patiently, he knows. Dan flips the switch to put his phone on silent.

_we were in your old house._

Dan sees the fork in the road and blows right past it.

_we were in your bedroom._

He thinks he may have in fact stopped breathing at this point. This was such a terrible idea. The seconds crawl by and Dan wills his texts to come out of the window. Is there an “Undo” in iMessage? Dan starts frantically scrolling through the options and sliding over menu bars. 

_Oh?_

It seems innocent. So innocent and almost vaguely uninterested that Dan doesn’t know how to respond at first. But he doesn't get a chance. 

_What happened then?_

Dan takes a breath in through his nose and out through his mouth, cell phone clutched in his hand. They’ve only done this a handful of times, but when they’ve been thousands of miles apart, not a few feet, not when they’re actively trying to hide their relationship from an entire tour of people for two months. He shifts in bed, awake now but dream lingering behind, like if he concentrates hard enough he can still feel Phil’s hands on him. 

He’s started it now, so at this point there’s really no turning back.

_it must’ve been a holiday or something, because it felt like i had been there for a while. i felt comfortable, like i was at home there. we weren’t rushed or anything like a weekend visit, we had time._

_i think your parents were gone or something. i dunno, we were alone tho_

_it was super late when we got back to your house_

_i don't know where we were before but i felt so wound up, like i was going to crawl out of my skin if i didn’t touch you_

_i couldn't keep my hands off you_

_you couldn't keep your hands off me_

_we were already making out going up your stairs and down the hall. we got inside your room and you slammed the door by pushing me against it_

Dan’s fingers are typing furiously at this point, face flushing and skin feeling like it's on fire as he re-lives the dream.

_you pulled off my shirt and i got yours off too. then you fell with me onto the bed, and i climbed into your lap_

_you held on to my hips and I tried to get your pants off but you kept kissing me and wouldn’t take your hands off me._

Dan’s not even really paying attention to what he’s typing at this point, word vomit via text really, but a little gray bubble with a reply pops up before he can hit send.

_That part would be true._

_Once we finally get off this bus and I do get my hands on you like that, I’m never taking them off._

Dan freezes in his typing. Mentally, he’s screaming. Of course in reality, he’s not moving a muscle, afraid to audibly breathe for fear of not being able to predict whether it’ll be a normal exhale or a moan that would come out, loud enough to wake the other people sleeping in the bunks around him. He’s really not sure what’d happen at this point, and he’s heading quickly towards not caring.

_finally we got all our clothes off somehow. you pulled me down and around so you could get on top._

Dan bites his lip, remembering the vivid part of the dream. Above him, he hears the blankets shift.

_you wouldn’t stop kissing me._

_Don’t ever want to stop kissing you._

Dan’s breathing gets labored, heart threatening to beat right out of his chest. His skin suddenly feels too tight for his body and he kicks the blankets off, chilled air hitting him. He starts typing furiously, wants to drag this out because it’s the fucking hottest thing they’ve done in a while but most of all he just wants to get to the end of the story so he has at least one free hand. 

_you were kissing me so hard and deep, and i was running my fingers through your hair trying to get you closer._

_you got between my thighs and kept pushing your hips against mine_

_slowly at first, then it got faster_

_i wrapped my legs around your waist and pushed up too. it felt so good to be that close to you_

Dan’s full-on panting at this point, shamelessly turned over onto his belly so he can get at least some sort of friction as silently as possible against the sheets. 

_I can’t wait until we can be alone finally_

Dan glances at the text that comes through and can’t take it anymore, pushes a hand down between the mattress and his warm body, wraps his trembling fingers around himself and starts working as best as he can, silently and with his forehead pressed into the sheets. The phone he’s laid on the mattress next to his head lights up, vibrates against the sheet, and with his right hand he turns it over to read.

_I’d make you feel so good_

Dan whimpers a little under his breath, bites his lip quickly, but in the silent bunks he knows Phil heard that. He can hear Phil’s deep sighs, rhythmically going in and out of his lungs.

_I'd want us to take our time but I don't think I'd be able to. I'd want to go slow, make it really good, but I think once I see you like that, in front of me with all the time in the world, I won't be able to think clearly._

Dan wants to answer, but he can't think of anything else but his own release right now. He just closes his eyes briefly and lifts up his hips so he has a better grip. He watches below him as his phone keeps lighting up silently. 

_I'd get you naked and writhing under me._

_Kiss you until your mouth is too tired to take anymore, then I'd kiss your neck_

_Mark you up like I know you like, in places where no one else can see but you and me_

Fuck, fuck. Phil is officially trying to kill him. Dan wishes he were smoother at all this but he can't think straight anymore. Not when Phil gets like this. 

_yes, i want that so much_

There's a short pause, Dan trying to stay silent as possible, his eyes shut tight in the dark as his dream replays behind his eyelids, his mind trying to imagine what Phil looks like at this moment, hair tousled from sleep, glasses on, cheeks a bright pink color. 

_Been thinking about this for too long. It’s been too long_

_Have you?_

Dan gets to his back again, head propped up on the pillows and phone balancing on his stomach. He types shakily with the thumb on his right hand. 

_yes, yes_

_phil_

_i want you here, i want you next to me, all around me, always_

From above him, Dan hears a sharp intake of breath. It's a familiar sound, but it’s all it takes for his own climax to hit him so hard he whites out for a second, panting roughly against the fist he's pressed next to his mouth to muffle his cries. 

He loses track of time for a little as he tries to get his breath back. For the first time, the atmospheric sounds of the bus come back into earshot - the tires flying over the road, sirens in the distance, the creaks of the bus' frame at every bump. 

Dan finds a water bottle in the corner of his bunk, and he squeezes a little into the shirt he strips himself of to clean himself off. He wipes down the thin layer of sweat all over his face and arms with the damp shirt, then does the best he can on his belly, grimacing. 

For a couple of minutes he just lays there, trying to breathe shallowly and get his mind back to fully functioning. He doesn't hear any more noises from above him, so he wonders if Phil's gone to sleep. 

_Fuck it,_ he thinks, because there's no way Dan is getting to sleep any time soon and he at least has to look Phil in the face right now even if that’s all he can do in the absolute zero privacy of a tour bus. He climbs out of the sheets on jelly legs, balances his bare feet along the edge of his bed as he pushes himself up and goes to draw back Phil's curtain. 

The curtain pulls itself back, a messy-haired Phil on the other side, two hands reaching out to hold Dan's face, shoves his lips against him in a blinding kiss. 

Dan grips the rim of Phil's bunk with one hand, uses the other shaky one to tangle in his mop of damp black hair and knead into the back of his neck. Phil's still trying to catch his breath through their kisses, frantic and deep, Dan keeping them quiet and taking in as many of the noises as he can. Phil leans further over the edge of the bunk, runs his hands down Dan's bare back, massaging into heated skin. His fingertips make ten little points of pressure which turn into trails when he drags them back up. 

When they finally break apart, they push their foreheads together and breathe. Their hands are smoothing over cheeks, running through hair, thinking maybe this is actually the dream Dan described and if they stop touching, the other will disappear. 

They whisper muted things to each other, Dan kissing gently over Phil's lips, rosy cheeks, both his closed eyelids as their breathing starts to even. He tries to stay patient, let the quiet gestures speak loudly for him, for now. For now it has to be enough.


End file.
